Heading Home

Driving to York was brilliant. Never has the M1 offerred so much promise and excitement. Every shitty radio station for 200 miles and 4 hours just seemed to play good mood tunes and it had me singing along sat at 80mph making good progress. 

 It was a distinct feeling of liberation as I passed the turn off for the M25 and just headed straight North. The traffic fell away and it felt like day one of the trip.

 The waiting period was over. 

No turning back now. 

I had no house, no job, nowhere to be ever again. Rationally I know at some point i will need to get a job again in the future but I am pushing that thought down and away as much as possible. I am going to enjoy the abyss. 

 This freedom and lack of concern seems to be a real sticking point for people. Doubters seem to want to bring this up again and again as they reassure themselves of the facts of the rat race. 

"You do know you're going to have to get a job again someday!" 

"What are you going to do for work? well you cant just not have a plan!" 

"Are you going to sign on? you know you can't do that forever" 

"When you get back where are you going to work? you know for your industry you're going to have to end up back in London" 

"Have you thought about what you're going to do when you get back?" 

 I have heard every variation of this question. I say question, sometimes it feels more like a threat. A kind of, I have a job and i have to work even though i dont like it, don't think this doesnt apply to you sunny! You're not getting out of it that easily. 

 I think some people really don't see the value in not planning for the return. Live in the moment. Enjoy the moment for what it is, perfect in its contemporary nature and lack of planning or consequence. 

 The other option being more malicious in that they do see the value but jealousy makes them want to have a little snipe and bring you down a peg or two. 

Of course I think about all the logisitics and the rational steps I will have to take, both now and when I return. And I'm sure some people are just curious about my mind set. But... the rat race, it dont want you opting out! Cultural normality wants you back at your station peddling away. Screw that I'm hitting the highway listening to Viking FM and loving it.