Instagram is full of group pictures from London of people enjoying the cold weather, Xmas shopping and drinking in pubs with open fires. It's a beautiful time of year back home and i really feel like i'm missing out. I have been reaching out to more people via email or whatsapp in an attempt to stave off the feeling of loneliness but both the time difference and the fact most people in the UK are busy with their working lives makes it difficult. Either that or I'm out of sight out of mind. It's hard not to let these feelings sneak in.
Everyone is all cosy and prepping for the family time together... i'm alone eating the same 'Super Health Salad' as I have had twice a day for god knows how long now.
It might be time for a food binge.
In fairness my training is suffering as I don't have any energy and i can't concentrate.
Could be time to stop being so militant and just start eating more.
Right now I'm 87Kg's. I'd want to fight at 80Kg's. Cutting this 7kg's whilst still fuelling my training is going to be real hard. When I was last in Chiang Mai for the fight night I bought some basic protein powder aimed at training recovery as opposed to building muscle. I really hope this makes a difference as everything is just getting on top of me a bit. The isolation from home. The hunger. The fatigue.
It's not that I want to quit or go home. It's just the thought that this is all voluntary and I could just as easily be on a beach in Southern Thailand eating and getting drunk or in America learning to hunt. Instead i'm here, running in the heat, sweating my balls off and hop scotching from one injury to another. I'm in the grind. Running the same stretch of road, hitting the same bag.
My right shoulder is proper fucked.
Bami is having to create a fighting style for me that solely uses the right hand as distraction and defence. The moment i reach out anything past 70% extension or above 9 o'clock i get shooting pains through the rotator cuff. It's horrible. It aches 24/7. Tiger Balm and Voltarol pain relief gel take the edge off but i can still feel it. Once I get back to the UK I am going to see a shoulder specialist and see what they can do for me. I suspect I have a grade 2 torn AC ligament and it may require surgery or extensive specific physiotherapy. The massages I have been getting here have helped but my recovery seems to have plateaued so I'm just bouncing between slight improvements with rest and then slight backwards steps after training.
It is what it is. Just got to plough on.
No comments:
Post a Comment