Tam Wua Forest Monastery

Visa run time again, my last trip over to Mae Hong Son immigration office to extend my tourist entry visa by 30 days. This takes me past Song Kran (Thai New Year - Water Festival) to the end of April at which point I will be leaving Thailand.

Whilst on the road I saw a 'Rescue' vehicle. I am not exactly sure what role the Rescue service fulfils but I believe it is a volunteer service that is somewhere between an ambulance and a fire truck. I have only ever seen them respond to traffic accidents and emergency situations, but they don't seem to have any specific government provided equipment. From what I can tell they are just trained first aiders who dedicate their time to helping people in emergency situations. Either way... the rescue vehicle I saw was possibly the coolest most Mad Max thing I've seen. If I had a crash and that car came to my rescue I would feel in very good hands. Assuming they don't harvest my organs or strap me to the bonnet as a warning to other drivers!

Between Pai and Mae Hong Son lies 108km of mountain roads. 20km before you get to Mae Hong Son, nestled in a valley surrounded on all sides my magnificent mountains is Tam Wua Monastery. This is a buddist monastery with bungalows and dorms available for people who wish to come and learn more about Buddhism and Vipassana meditation. It is open to both Thai and Farang, men and women. 

The setting is absolutely stunning. Well manicured grounds featuring a peaceful lake with large Koi Carp, small stream, orchid and a small farm growing various vegetables for the kitchen. All this over looked by extremely steep rock faces giving the impression of complete seclusion from the world.

Nuns in white meditate in the shade.

Upon arrival at the main hall I meet a Thai lady called 'Sue' who gives me the low down on what to expect and how each day breaks down. 

5am - Wake and meditate in your *Kuti (*bungalow or dorm).

6:30am - Make food offerings to the monks at the main hall.
7am - Breakfast at the main hall
8am - 2 hours Meditation - sitting/walking/laying down
10:30am - Make food offerings to the monks at the main hall.
11am - Lunch (last meal of the day)
1pm - 2 hours meditation at the main hall. Incuding a longer walking meditation.
4pm - Work around the monastery grounds - cleaning/gardening/kitchen work.
6pm - 2 hours chanting meditation in the chanting room.
9pm - Must be back in your Kuti or dorm.
10pm - Lights out.

Once all this was explained I was informed of the rules that I must abide by if I wish to stay. Firstly you have to wear all white clothing. I don't own any white clothes, fortunately they are prepared for this and kitted me out. Seemingly I was not the only one who was not aware of this and as a result 90% of people are wearing the same white fisherman's trousers and loose fitting shirt.  This 'uniform' doesn't do anything to allay my fears that this is a cult. All laundry was to be done by hand. I just showered with my clothes and then let them dry in the sun. Pretty basic. But you are not exactly working up a sweat so the whites stay pearly white.

Other rules include, men and women sleep and eat separately. No smoking, drinking, electrical goods, music, swearing, lying and try to keep your voice low when talking. Also, all the food prepared is vegan. So although unsaid, eating meat is not an option.
I broke the electrical goods rule fairly consistently by using my phone as a camera. Guess what, I'm not sorry. All the rules are intended to help you strip away distractions and live a pious reverential existence. For me taking photos does not effect this. If anything it allows me better recollection of my time there and will allow me to gain more from the experience in the long term. Plus I also believe that any skills learnt here need to have real world relevance. They are of no use to me if I cannot include them in my life back in England. Piety and avoidance of temptation is great if you're a monk and you have no intention of jumping into the vipers nest, but I need to learn skills that I can use once surrounded by London life.

Some people had chosen to use their time at the monastery as a silent retreat. They wore badges that said 'silent and happy'. These people were also not allowed to read or write unless it was reading their chanting book. The experience these people had chosen to undertake must have been extremely challenging. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can be so strong willed as to overcome natural urges to socialise and be part of the tribe. In truth I am little jealous. They seemed to side step the social ranking of people. Although 80% of the people I met and talked too were extremely nice and wanted to share their knowledge and help each other progress, there was definitely a visible ranking of people. A subtle competition over who could be most reverential, who knew the songs in Thai, who bowed the lowest, who could sit the longest. I guess human nature is unavoidable. It's just disappointing to see people creating a 'scene' around something like this. Trying to create an in crowd of enlightened people, those with the right sitting posture and appropriate vegan hand woven scarf. All that just made me want to check out even more.

All in all I found the rules a little oppressive, archaic and overly familiar with all other organised religions. Perhaps this similarity between codes of conduct could be seen as a good thing, all religions agreeing on something! But I don't agree with any religious practices that don't modernise and remain relevant within a developing society. It all screams of tradition over function.

I think the reason I am a little over sensitive about this stuff is because the first meditation session I took part in was the evening chanting session. Monks at the front of class, then men, then the nuns and the women have to sit at the back of the class. This blatant sexism is odd. Especially when you have nuns sat behind farang new comers like me who have no idea what they are doing, yet somehow simply because of my gender I am seen as more valuable/superior. Maybe I am misinterpreting and its more about gender segregation than rank, but thats not how it felt to me.

The chanting began in Thai and after each verse was then repeated in English. Everyone chants along and tries to follow the script. Both the nature of a monk led sing-a-long and the translations made me very uncomfortable. The similarities between this and a Christian service were all too apparent. Although my family are not religious I went to a very strict religious Church of England school. A belief structure I never bought into. And yet here I am again singing and thanking a deity for knowledge and asking for forgiveness.
In retrospect the wording was not very severe, it was more about thanking and paying respect to the Buddha for his teachings and for passing on what he learnt. But at the time I felt like a fox in the hen house, saying the words but not meaning them in the slightest. For me spiritual exploration is about learning more about my own mind and using that knowledge to develop into a better person, trying to find as balanced an existence as possible not necessarily apologising for every experience I have had. Or being made to feel like I have led a distracted, shallow, hedonistic existence by a guy who has been a monk since pre-teen and could never understand the temptations or valuable life experiences that I arrive with.

The more I write about this the more I realise its not Buddhism or the practices taught here that were at fault, but more my own baggage that I bring with me.
I'm sure this experience is of huge value, but I couldn't get past my own discomfort with both authority and the idea of a religious guide.
The meditation practices taught and the opportunity to learn more about Buddhism directly from a monk will definitely serve me well as I try to develop my own meditation skills.
It was also great to hear what to expect at different stages of practice as I develop my ability to explore my subconscious and the relationship between my mind and the body. These things I will definitely take away with me and try to integrate into my own version of spirituality, my own version being a solitary pursuit which does not need a monk, a schedule or a shiny gold icon to focus on.

A most interesting lesson I did learn was the benefit of Muay Thai when trying to achieve a meditative, quiet mind. After the many hours of meditation practice and the description of the separation between mind and body into a relaxed void state, I realised the same state has always been more readily available to me in the gym.
When following the instruction of my trainer and repeating a strike to the point of exhaustion my mind shuts off and my body repeats the process in loop, and time and consciousness pause.
Perhaps my temple has always been the gym and the road.

In western literature it is often referred to as the 'Flow' state. But I have also heard it referred to as the 'Zen state'. This indulging of the subconscious and the quieting of the conscious serial processing mind is what we were striving for through meditation. I have found this state when road running and when hitting the bag. The channelled focus on my breathing whilst exercising seems to mimic the breathing practices the monks had us follow and the results I have felt were very similar. A temporary state of separation between body and mind, an ability to raise your consciousness above the sensations the body is sending the brain. Feel them but not be affected by them. Be sat on top of the fulcrum point of the swinging pendulum of sensation and emotion.

The dorm.

Up at 6am for morning offerings to the monks.

All in all it was a positive experience. But with my last 30 days counting down before I have to leave I was really looking forward to getting back to Pai. I really want to maximise my time in Pai before I leave. As much as the monastery felt like sacred ground, it also felt like everyone had their head in the sand. Turning a blind eye to the realities of the world we live in. I look forward to continuing the practices learnt in a real world environment with real world distractions.

Thai hair cut and a beautiful gift.

Putting the whole Cambodia incident behind me unfortunately required a fair bit of time and a lot of drinking.

But I'm back to training now. Currently only training once a day as my cardio is so bad and the smoke in the air is a real problem. But as I keep saying "Rome wasn't built in a day". Feels good to hit pads again, and now I have fought I am seen differently at the gym. One of the old guard almost. Trusted to show beginners the ropes, demonstrate techniques and lead the abs class. Ae (Bee's brother and head Thai fighter trainer) has taken an interest in me since my return and now singles me out to make sure he holds pads for me when he can. Its all 100% power on every strike. You coast and he notices. It's brutal. But amazing he cares enough to develop my Muay Thai by forcing me to elbow and knee so much more than before. Currently I have 2 cuts on my knee where I knee'd his pad and my knee slipped up and caught him in the teeth. It cut my knee and he just laughed it off.

Going and coming back seems to have endeared me to the trainers more as they have all been so nice since I got back. It's probably because I am being more social. Not just doing private lessons and never going out but actually making myself part of the Charn Chai family. It feels good.

Pet, a trainer and most devoted drinking buddy. Who always refers to himself as my bodyguard. Not because he protects me from trouble, but because he always ensures my glass is at least half full. One day whilst training he nipped off on his scooter and came back with this buddha necklace he had bought me. These necklaces are blessed and are seen as both a blessing, protection talisman and bringer of good luck. These are not cheap within the local economy and I treasure it massively.

Pet is at the front with the chest tattoo.

In other news. I went for a hair cut. This is my second haircut in Thailand on this trip BUT I had my iPhone for the last time and was simply able to show the guy an old picture of myself and say 'Same, same.'
With my phone currently in the possession of a Cambodian beach thief I had to rely on gesture and basic Thai. All went pretty well except for when trying to describe how high I would like the blade 2 shave to go. With one hand under the gown I used my free hand with a chopping like motion showing the height on the side of my head he should shave too.
All seemingly understood we progressed at great pace.
However, once he stood away and no longer blocked my view in the mirror it turns out he had thought I meant I wanted a line... a fake parting... shaved into my head where I had pointed.

Oooops.

So I now have a very trendy hair cut with a line shaved in it much like a teenage Thai boy.
It wouldn't be that bad except for the fact one of my trainers Kaew also has the line shaved in and he is 18. I now look like I am stealing style tips from an 18 year old... not a good look at 32.

One saving grace is my line is on the different side to Kaew's... and is massive, thick and not straight. So its more comedy than copying.

Can't remember if I posted about this or not but the young gym guys are going nuts for tattoos at the moment.
Whilst I was away Kong had his entire back done. 12 hours in 3 sittings. His first tattoo. In the picture below it is not finished. But you get an idea for size. The tattooist (Garth from New Zealand) said he sat like a rock. Showed no pain. Scary dude.

Burning Season

In Pai there is an annual farming tradition where they spend roughly the month of March burning the fields and dried jungle.
The point is two fold.
Firstly the controlled burns of the wild bush reduces wild fires.
Secondly it is believed the ash created by the burns fertilises the soil for the next planting season.

I don't know if the science backs up the tradition but it seems to make sense to me.

The downside however is also two fold.
Firstly the Thai people who are not farmers use the opportunity to burn their trash and garden waste which often smells very bad and adds to the ash cloud above the city which traps in heat causing very hot days.
Secondly the ash, pollen and other pollutants in the air get everywhere and you can see it in the air. The once blue sky now has a grey mask over it all day. When doing exercise you can really feel it. 3 rounds of pads and you get a burning in the centre of your chest and you can't catch your breath. I know a few of the fighters from the gym have had to stop running on a morning because they are just breathing in too much crap and it's making them ill.

The period only lasts 4 - 6 weeks so we should be past the worst of it by the beginning of April.

I have bought one of those surgeon breathing masks for when I'm on the scooter. The combination of that and sunglasses keeping the dust out of my eyes seems to help but it also shows how much stuff is being breathed in. A short scooter ride and the mask noticeably turns grey.

The one benefit (aside from for the farmers) has been some amazing sights. At night the wild bush burns look like fire snakes making their way across the mountain sides. I can't capture it with a photo but amongst the low contrast grey view of the silhouettes of the mountain ranges you just have these glowing lines of fire highlighting the shape of the land as it is consumed by fire.

After spending the day at the river when riding home after the sun had set I ended up quite close to one of the burns. It was beautiful. Like something straight out of a National Geographic volcano special. The soft orange glow of the fire with flames jumping up behind the trees spitting burning ash into the air which glows then cools as it falls. It looked like lava bursting up over the hills with a sunset backdrop. If I had seen such a large wild fire like this in England it would have been the source of huge panic and there would be firefighters everywhere keeping you hundred of feet back. But here its just left to do its thing and your able to stumble upon these amazing views. A really unique sight.