Telling the family.

Easter Monday and I'm back in the office. Sat on my lonesome except for the chinese security guard who sits watch in reception. I'm pretty sure he is a professional online gambler. His nose never comes up from his various laptops, tablets and huge screened phone. His lightning security trained reactions only ever utilised when disturbed as he hides his various screens like a teen caught watching porn. Maybe he is watching porn. Whatever passes the day i guess. Anyway, in other news yesterday on Easter Sunday (i wonder if there is some meaning there?) I called home and explained my plan to my dad, Big Steve. He sounded dissapointed and a little frustrated simply commenting "you've gone mad, are you sure you shouldnt see a psychiatrist instead? Why would you go to the other side of the world to learn to kick and punch?". I explained a psychiatrist would be more expensive than this trip so perhaps we start with the most cost effective solution and see where that gets us. I was a little surprised he didnt understand, being a guy in his youth who studied Karate and travelled to London to run the marathon. But then the world has grown so much smaller for our generation. I compare the 2 because i feel they do represent a match across generations. OK so maybe mine is a little more extreme... but shouldnt the child strive to surpass the parent? The good news is he has agreed to let me move home for 4-6 weeks as i train my cardio and get my affairs in order before leaving. We also discussed my eventual return, the idea of me returning to London to try and pick u my career seemed to offer some solice. The main focus of both discussions being I need to set dates and stick to them, dont just quit come back and never make anything concrete come of it. He must fear a return to student days lethargy. Which is odd seeing as I moved to London at 17. How much must I have slept before then? I do worry my return will pose more of a problem. Coming back with no money and no job will definitetly be a stretch on all relationships. It's funny knowing that going in... at the head of this I want financial help... and at the tail I'm gonna need couches and job offers. This definitely feels like a risk and quite bloody selfish. From the turn of this month for the next year I'm going to be taking, offerring very little back. Lets see who is still around this time 2015 and who has culled me off as social dead weight. I asked Big Steve to help train me, as i dont want to spend money on a gym. I asked if he would hold pads for me maybe once a day for 15minutes. Sighting a rocky montage as my inspriation, I though it would offer some good father son bonding. He didnt seem interested and said let me think about it. Which is a shame. I kinda hoped this would be soemthing he wanted to be involved in. A little mission with a distinct 6 week goal to get him motivated and moving a little more. Break the hypnotic power reality TV seems to have over his motor functions. I'll keep plugging at it, maybe there is a gym that will let me do a short term membership if they know my situation. Really i just need a heavy punchbag. The rest i can do on m own.